A Tribute to Fletch

Last weekend, my friend and I were on a little road trip in West Virginia, and I made a reference to our car hitting a water buffalo.  When she looked me blankly, I realized that she had never seen the movie Fletch.  I was astounded!  My brother and I have watched Fletch together dozens and dozens of times, and we regularly work Fletch quotes into casual conversation (and crack ourselves up in the process)--much to the delight irritation of everyone around us.  Of course, I raced back home and watched the movie all over again, chuckling like it was all new to me. 

The best part of Fletch is, of course, the wisecracking of the title character.  So in his honor, here are some of my favorite quotes (leaving out those that aren't suitable for prime time): [I'm cracking myself up just typing this . . . ]

"Yeah, Utah. It's wedged in between Wyoming and Nevada. You've seen pictures of it, right?"

"Mr. Stanwyk's parents Marvin and Velma of Provo, were unable to attend the wedding. Those are three names I enjoy; Marvin, Velma, and Provo."

"If you shoot me, you're liable to lose a lot of those humanitarian awards."

"I'm afraid I'm gonna have to pull rank on you. I didn't want to have to do this. I'm with the Mattress Police. There are no tags on these mattresses."

"I would have been here sooner, but a manure-spreader jacknifed on the Santa Ana. You should see my shoes."

"I'll have a Bloody Mary and a steak sandwich and... a steak sandwich, please."